Sunday, September 27, 2009

A Weekend in the Life of Olivia (a.k.a. Olivia, the spider and the Iron Man Gang)

On Friday night, while babysitting for some friends, Olivia walked unsuspecting to her car in order to get her pajamas from her bag. She was talking to her friend Andy on her phone at the time when she noticed 1’ from her face a large house spider on the ceiling of her car. She yelped and hit her head on the doorway of her car, leaving Andy to wonder what was happening. After treating him to the delightful sounds of the spider dance, she explained hesitatingly to him about her fear of spiders. I say “hesitatingly” because she also has a friend named Sean who is afraid of frogs and his pals waste no opportunity to throw frogs on him. Andy’s advice was to use the can of air freshener in the car to kill it. He may have meant to use the can to bash the thing but Olivia sprayed it instead. The spider didn’t like this of course and set about the death act. Olivia was shaken but triumphant that she has defeated the spider.
On Saturday, she spent part of the day with us at Anastasia State Park at the beach. We had planned a ‘September” birthday celebration. The day was perfect with the exception of all of the dead fish lining the beach, courtesy of the shrimpers just off the coast. Thanks guys! I digress. Unfortunately, Olivia had to return early to finish some online homework before going back to her babysitting job.
On the way home, Olivia noticed a large group of men on motorcycles complete with leather jackets that proclaimed them the “Iron Man Gang.”
From I-95 to Hastings, Olivia played a sort of ‘cat and mouse’ game with the gang passing and looking at her bikini clad self through the open window (no A/C). There was one particular member who stood out because his leather jacket appeared newly stitched with the gang’s logo and he was riding an ape [ ]. Somewhere around Federal Point, Olivia decided to pass the gang thinking to be rid of them but homeboy” broke formation and rode up behind her to tailgate for a quarter mile before pulling up along side her. After a few attempts at communication on his part, Olivia freaked out a little, checked her rear view mirror and seeing no one close behind, hit the brakes. He braked as well, throwing his arms up in the air as if to say ‘What the #*@@? and went back into formation. Shortly after this, Olivia made to turn off onto Cracker Swamp Rd followed by homeboy, who had ridden up behind her again. She was thinking of calling Dawn, pulling a ‘U’ie and heading back to the Murray house where the guns are ready and loaded, when he pulled back in line with the rest of the gang who passed by waving at her. She said she was shaking so back she has to use her left foot to control the gas and brake.
Remember the spider she killed the night before? Right! Well, on Sunday after church we were all loading up to go home when Olivia ran up to me and asked to drive the van home. I thought maybe her car was giving her trouble so I said I would. She was following me back to her car however and midway pulled off one of her heeled sandals, handed it to me and said “You might need this.” The spider was back. She noticed the spider on the ceiling over the back seat when she turned around to back out of her parking space. She didn’t panic at first, ‘only squeaked a little’ she said, then pulled back into her space before coming to get me. She did admit, however that she forgot to turn the motor off and unbuckle her seat belt before getting out of the car. After getting that sorted out and coming to get me she stood off to the side in a pretty sun dress and one shoe while I made like I was going to do away with it once and for all. She told me the spider was on the ceiling but I didn’t see it at first so I stuck my head cautiously into the car looking around and eventually found it (approximately the size of the palm of my hand) directly over my head, at which point I banged my head on the car, whipped around and ran into the car parked in the next spot. Following a good 5 second ‘spider dance’ accompanied by Olivia over on the sidewalk, I blindly banged her shoe onto the ceiling missing the spider. I tried a few more times not realizing that we had drawn the attention of a few of the other church members who were also leaving. Jeremy Hawkins drove by and gallantly allowed himself to be persuaded (he didn’t actually volunteer) to kill the spider. With shoe in hand, he banged repeatedly on the ceiling muttering something I couldn’t quite catch. The only word I understood was ‘FAST’ and yes, it was. I am happy to say the spider is well and truly dead now and Olivia was able to drive herself home without incident.

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